A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, “Mypenis,” and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, “Error. Not long enough.”

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but …

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days of work already.